[audio]

[70ftandcounting]

Everyone?

Please be careful of this Santa person! He's a horrible, mean man that comes and kidnaps young children in the night and forces them to work in his shop like slaves! You have to refuse anything he gives you! Please!

I just -- I want everyone to be safe, it's been so awful around here...

[A tiny, tiny voice.]

F-Flynn? If you -- if you could maybe come see me...that'd be nice.

[Please don't be gone...]

Comments

[audio]

[70ftandcounting]

But what if I haven't?

[audio]

[the-brokenhorn.livejournal.com]

I'm really sure you have. In my world-

[Wasn't that weird to say.]

In the place where I came from, Santa is a good man who spreads Christmas cheer and good will to men all around the world. He doesn't enslave children or do anything horrible like that.

[audio]

[70ftandcounting]

Are you sure? Bartimaeus says he's a nefarious tyrant who enslaves children -- and he will come for you in the dark, while you're sleeping!

[audio]

[the-brokenhorn.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm sure. I think Bartimaeus might have been kidding. It sounds like he was playing a mean joke on you.

[audio] threadjack!

[likesfootnotes]

Trying to slander the voice of truth around here, I see. How many candy canes is the fat, jolly man paying you to do his dirty work?

[audio] threadjack!

[the-brokenhorn.livejournal.com]

[Wha...]

Pardon?

[audio] threadjack! 8D

[likesfootnotes]

Short a pair of ears today? I asked what your purchase price was. Santa pays well, I hear.

[audio]

[the-brokenhorn.livejournal.com]

I don't really understand what you're saying.

[audio]

[likesfootnotes]

Playing ignorant won't save you. Santa's clearly given you some sort of inspiration to defend his "good" name and I want to know what it is.

Or should I outright offer to double it?

[Not that he could or would intend to pay.]

[audio]

[the-brokenhorn.livejournal.com]

I-I think you've got the wrong idea about who Santa is.

[audio]

[likesfootnotes]

And you're an expert on the old guy.

[Deadpan disbelief, he has it.]

[audio]

[the-brokenhorn.livejournal.com]

I'm...I'm just repeating what someone else told me, but where I come from he's not a bad person or anything like that.

[audio]

[likesfootnotes]

You believe everything that you hear?

[audio]

[the-brokenhorn.livejournal.com]

[He shakes his head.]

It's not like that. Santa...Santa brings presents and joy to children. I've seen it.

[audio]

[likesfootnotes]

Humans. You're always so quick to love-at-first-sight. Unless you've seen him do it twice?