[voice]

[70ftandcounting]

Since...my hair is gone, Kloe mentioned teaching me some First Aid...I was wondering if there's more people out there that can help me with that, too.

Kloe...do you think maybe we could start tonight?

Comments

[abstinentzombie]

Yeah, sure. I don't see why not.

[70ftandcounting]

Great! Where should I meet you?

[abstinentzombie]

My room.

[70ftandcounting]

I'm on my way.

[abstinentzombie]

I have the door open for you.

[70ftandcounting]

[And she shows up on no time.]

Kloe?

[abstinentzombie]

Hey Rapunzel. I hope you're ready. I won't try to flood you with too much information at once, but there's a lot to remember.

[70ftandcounting]

Don't worry.

[She grins.]

I have a great memory. Where do we start?

[abstinentzombie]

That's the victim.

[Kloe is pointing to a couple of pillows shoved into clothing, with a face. Painted in ink.]

They're not moving and you think they might be injured. What would you do?

[70ftandcounting]

...What is their injury?

[Squint.]

[abstinentzombie]

You find that out later. First you have to make sure the area is safe and assisting them doesn't put you in danger. Understand?

[70ftandcounting]

[She nods, eyes wide.]

Yes. Of course. Then -- what?

i am actually not this smart

[abstinentzombie]

Okay. So you approach them. They've been stabbed in the abdomen and they're bleeding, but they're still conscious. So if you have your journal thing here, you call for help. And then you tend to them. If the injury is lengthwise, lay them on their back flat with their feet slightly raised. If it's across, on their back with the knees bent and shoulders raised.

[And then Kloe picks up her bag and pulls out a few pieces of cloth and bandages, which she hands to Rapunzel.]

Press cloth against the injury and tie it in place. Keep them as still as possible. And if organs are protruding from the injury, do not try to push them in. Understood?

[Kloe isn't used to the teaching thing.]

[yolonceler]

[Wow, step back.]

What does your hair have to do with first aid?

[70ftandcounting]

Er.

[Oh yeah, he hadn't ever seen it.]

Ah -- well. My hair used to be...around seventy feet long. And -- blond.

And...um.

Magic.

[yolonceler]

[Oh come the fuck on.

The Once-ler had been under the impression that Rapunzel was more of the not-crazy Keep residents. But, hey, magic hair. Of course. Great. She's a part of the grand master plan, whatever that may be.

Damn it.]

O-kayyy...

[70ftandcounting]

It could...heal people. And keep them young.

...Indefinitely.

[yolonceler]

Riiight.

[He should have known. Nobody genuinely likes the Once-ler. They like the benefits. They either like the benefits, or they're working for some weird organization that wants him to pull an Ebenezer Scrooge and become some semblance of a good person. Newsflash, not happening.]

Magic hair, healing powers, sounds totally legit.

[70ftandcounting]

[...Oncie where the fuck did that come from that has nothing to do with HER HAIR.]

...

Um...well..[Did she do something wrong?]

It's true.

[yolonceler]

["Magic hair" means she's "crazy" which means she HAS ULTERIOR MOTIVES, weren't you listening to my narration? All the crazy people here are part of a plan. The GRAND MASTER PLAN. Someone really needs to tell him this is all seriously happening.]

Yeah. If I suspend my beliefs entirely, it sounds true.

[70ftandcounting]

[...D8 What has she done wroooong.]

...Did -- I upset you? I'm sorry...

[yolonceler]

You -

[Ugh. He can't stay mad at Rapunzel. He can certainly be cautiously indifferent, though.]

- No. Don't be sorry. It's fine.

[70ftandcounting]

[Her voice has remarkably quieted.]

I didn't mean to bother you. [She didn't realize his reaction would be so...

This.]

[yolonceler]

You're not bothering me.

[He sounds thoroughly bothered.]

I just wasn't expecting magic hair.

[70ftandcounting]

You sound bothered.